Mum With Love

Edinburgh. A cold wintry afternoon. I am sitting at my computer.

Click, click, scroll, scroll. I am searching to advertise a personal project that helps our communities. I find an advertisement from someone who wants to help cancer research.

“Write a story about how wonderful your mum is.”

What a shame I can’t do that, I initially think. My mother died nearly 26 years ago, aged 55. We had a difficult relationship, but we loved each other nevertheless.

Like Carrie Bradshaw in ‘Sex and the City’……. “I got to thinking.”

Thinking long and hard. I hadn’t realized how wonderful, how courageous my Mother was until now.

After the initial stages of grief in my bereavement, I am ashamed to say I was not able to see her positive attributes until many years later, which crystallized for me as soon as I began my thought process following the reading of the advertisement.

It was one of those light bulb moments and I thought, yes, I can do this, and yes, my story deserves to be told, and let it be the ultimate memorial to my dear Mother whom I still miss so much.

She had it hard, my Mother. The twins she had after me both died, aged two weeks and three years respectively.

With her second husband, further grief with two miscarriages and a stillbirth. Did she complain or want to keep reminding me of what must have been unbearable sorrow? No, she simply got on with her life and worked hard to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.

Because of difficulties within the marriage, we became nomads. Going from one place to another every time she left my first stepfather, forgiving him, returning to him, then leaving him again. I used to dread yet another new school, having to make new friends all over again, being the odd one out.

In retrospect though, this taught me self-reliance and an ability to mix well. Our moving around meant we sometimes lived in beautiful houses (where she would be the live-in cook, child in tow) and it was an eye opener to see ‘how the other half live’ and so I learnt about good manners, etiquette and the finer things in life. (Watch and learn, listen and learn, she would say)

Because of her situation, she also taught me the importance of thrift and she would never waste anything. Currently, this is very much in focus as the world begins to understand the importance of being responsible for our environment and that being wasteful is tantamount to being sinful.

Like her, I waste nothing and always think of her when I read or hear someone say “Waste not, want not” She was ‘green’ without even being aware of it. Why buy it when you can grow it, my mother would say. As a result I have never forgotten the taste of the sweetest peas and carrots I have ever eaten, taken from soil to plate.

Money was always tight and whereas once I used to resent not getting presents, new clothes, the latest whatever, I now see that she taught me a valuable lesson.

Never buy it, my mother would say, unless you already have the money. If you want it, save for it, and always make sure you have a bit put by for a rainy day.

To date, the only debt I have ever had has been a mortgage, and I thank my mother for teaching me the value of money and to be sensible with it. She also taught me, by having to earn and wait for whatever I wanted and needed, the invaluable lesson of being patient, and how much sweeter the fruit tastes if you’ve had to work hard for it and wait for it.

Being Italian, my mother would insist on speaking to me in Italian, much to my childish embarrassment (oh how I wanted not to be noticed, not to be different!) but of course I am now so grateful that I was able to maintain a second language which further helped to make learning French and Spanish much easier and my languages helped me to have an interesting career –but that’s another story!

I used to resent not having had it easy, and having had a strict mother. Later, I understood that love comes in my guises and that my mother was often just trying to protect me and make a decent human being out of me.

I like to think she succeeded, and that there may still be some little seeds she sowed which have yet to come to fruition. I certainly didn’t get spoilt, or was given much in the way of material goods.

But when I look to the things which really matter in life – respect for yourself and for others. Being kind, patient, stoical and tolerant being just a few, I realize my mother had these qualities in spades and for that I will forever thank her and cherish her.

Frankie, Edinburgh, Age 57

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www.MumwithLove.com - Write a Story about Your Mother.
This is a real contribution from a real person.

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My Mum Mona,

God came for you to ease you of the pain of that dreadful disease. I thank God for that. You had sufferd enough. You raised nine children all on your own while working three jobs. Super mama i called you. You gave so much and asked for so little. You were never rewarded for all the good things you did for everyone not just your children but strangers in the street also. A real heart of gold. I know that you now have peace and your suffering is over for that i am so glad. You were my best friend, my inspiration. My life is empty without you , my days long and lonely, but i would not wish you back to suffer again. I fear not death now as i know you are there waiting for me . My mama i thank God i had so many years with you. You was truely the best.

I miss you so much

Rest in peace mama

your daughter pat x

U.K.

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www.MumwithLove.com - Write a Story about Your Mother.
This is a real contribution from a real person.

Mom With Love Project has been created to help raise money and awareness to find a cure for Breast Cancer.

Mom With Love gives story tellers like you, the opportunity to share with the community how amazing your Mother is or was, and the difference she has made in peoples lives.

By sharing beautiful, inspirational, loving stories, we can create a collection of stories that will raise a lot of money for Breast Cancer Research.

This project is dedicated to the next generation of women that are yet to be diagnosed with this awful disease… and to my Mum.

This is a Project for YOU and the whole online community.
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As a family, we are the grateful recipients of previous breast cancer research and todays current technology.

But we have to find a cure for the women out there that do not know that they will contract this awful disease in the distant and not-so-distant future.

One in Eleven women in their life time will be diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

And we need to create more awareness for People similar to what I was like. People who do not actively pay attention to the Breast Cancer volunteers and organisations that raised money to fund research, until I was directly affected.

Unfortunately, it took breast cancer to strike before I took some action and start making a difference.

So now this is my opportunity to give back to a community that provided the skills and research to help our family get back on track when we needed them most.

That is why this project is called Mum With Love.

This is where you will make a difference to Breast Cancer Research.

Please submit your story to mumwithloveproject@gmail.com

Once you have submitted a story, come back and check the next day to see if it has been posted. Now tell your friends to submit a story too!

Thank you for your contribution to Mum with Love and making a Difference!

Tips for stories

• Tell the story from your heart
• Be 100% honest; don’t hold back!
• Rather than telling your whole life story, focus on a particular time when your Mum made a difference in your life.
• Include some dialogue, if possible peak about how that situation made you feel.
• End it with how or what a difference your mothers love has made to you, and the effect she has had on your life.
• SHOW rather than TELL. For example, rather than writing: ‘my childhood was fun’, be descriptive and write ‘from the time is was six years old, my mother used to say I was the brightest smile of the lot!’
• Remember to keep your stories to around 1,000 words or less.
• Sign Off with your name, country and age (optional)

General guidelines and Copyright

• This is a not for profit project, therefore there will be no payment for stories. However, contributors always receive compensation such as website publication and acknowledgment. Other kinds of compensation maybe building up your recognition and credentials as an author and writer.
• We will retain all rights to your story in all publishable formats. Your story is available to be published elsewhere in written format once your story has been published in hard cover format by our partners.
• We require that you have the legal right to offer your story to Mum with Love for publication without violating any contract or copyright laws in all jurisdictions.
• We have the right to edit your work and change the title.
  
• We will not accept content of any nature that is abusive, violates any laws, racist, discriminatory, sexually explicit or generally inappropriate for mainstream consumption.